I will be taking some art classes. I am nervous & excited & scared. I feel as though I'll be a kindergartner level compared to classmates but I've always wanted to take these classes. When our neighbor Alex (who was my age) passed away last month, it made me realize that life is too short. I'm tired of wanting to do things, but never having the courage to do them. Afraid of failure. Doubting. And
-a mandatory Art Design class
It has been an extreme pain in the ass to even get the ball rolling for this. This, by far, has been the most difficult time I've had for signing up for classes. Ordering transcripts, the school saying they didn't receive any (really?! all 4 are missing? wtf), telling me I need an advisor appointment, going there with kids in tow, waiting and being told I didn't need to be there, etc. I have never encountered this difficulty in the past. This experience made me realize why so many veterans never end up using their benefits. I wanted to run away screaming, and I don't even have PTSD. I was completely overwhelmed by paperwork needed, a laundry list of things I needed to submit and NOWHERE on the website where it was easily mapped out. I almost, ALMOST, said Fuck this! But, I look at my girls. I hear myself tell Lilly that Can't isn't a great word. That she CAN do anything. That she should always try before admitting defeat and moving on to something else. So, how can I not head my own words?
So, in 4 days, I'll be sitting in a classroom with a group of strangers, trying to learn something new. I wonder if I can have Lilly do my watercolor homework? Her stuff is amazing!! ;)