Jan 14, 2013

All in a Name

My "due" date is this coming Friday. I use quotation marks because babies come when they feel like & this looming date is just making me more and more anxious:/ But really, that's another post on its own.  After contraction city--"real" or non-- practically all week, accompanied by some bloody show, I was certain that baby would have been born this weekend. I even had my mom come down for the weekend just in case.

You'd think 39 Weeks into this we would have exact names picked out. Wrong! It wasn't this difficult last time! I love not knowing the sex of the baby until he/she is born. However, with us banging our heads against the wall trying to conjure up something as wonderful & seemingly fitting as our 1st child's name is, I sometimes wish we'd found out the sex so we could at least narrow it down. Too late now. So here we sit-with a few names, in no particular order of preference or order as first or middle name. When my mom was here, the 3 of us sat around talking about names. Some were serious options, but the conversation was mostly dominated by funny options. "What about Thor? That's a strong name". Ugh! If Jeff could be in complete control of naming i'm almost certain our child, if a boy, would be Jed as a 1st name I.Knight as middle. Never.Gonna.Happen! Sorry dude. Then we collectively came up with Tera Uranus for a girl. And then laughed & cried about it for a solid 20 minutes. Jeff posted it on Facebook & I was certain everyone would get the joke. But obviously, some of my loved ones are more dense than others &I had to actually spell it out for them-a tear in your anus. Hardy har har. COME ON PEOPLE!

But that got me to thinking about all the Moonbeams, Apples, Pilots, La-Ah (the dash is pronounced), Hashtags and other random named children out there. Kids with randomly placed apostrophes in an otherwise normal name. L'ara N'acole anyone?! knock it the fuck off! (unless you're Hawaiian & the ' actually serves a purpose). And don't even get me started on people who seem to grab a handful of scrabble tiles and make up the most random name they can out of the letters they were dealt.

Don't get me wrong-you carried the baby for 9 months, have the stretch marks & looming hemorrhoids to prove it. You can name the baby whateva the fuck you want! But why would you? Name them something that won't cause perpetual confusion every time someone tries to spell or pronounce it. I get it--you are unique & so is your child. You want something that's not boring and normal. I'm sure some think our daughter's name is too Hippy-ish. Whatever that means.

But what do I know? I'm having a baby with someone who just said Tera Uranus is no longer an option but Harry Uranus is on the table for a boy. It's times like these that I wish babies were born with a name tag.

Do you have any funny/weird/odd names in your family or circle of friends that make you ponder Wtf the parentals were thinking?


  1. My grandma had a thing with naming the girls "D" names and their middle name rhyme...so there is Doreen LaRay, Debra Faye, and .....Darian Gaye! This would be aunt Pixie. lol! Jeremy's family has some weird names too. HIs dad is Herman, uncle Vernon, Grandma was Laverne, and other grandma is LaDonna. My aunt Jean's real name was Myrtle, and my uncle Kim was Sanford. lol! They went by their middle names.

    1. Lol at all the rhyming. My Grandma is Wilma &1 of my aunts is Betty. I always thought it was hilarious. Of course though, she was named before the Flintstones came out. I think?


just say it already