Dec 9, 2012

Don't swim against the current

When we first found out I was pregnant with baby #2, Jeff had a momentary freak out. Or perhaps better described as shock. He was still sweet but just a little speechless for a while that day. In a bit of disbelief. Like he didn't know how babies were made or something;) We weren't trying to get pregnant per se, but we weren't trying NOT to either. It's just that it happened sooner than we anticipated. Pretty much after Lilly was weaned off the boob at 13 months. Only, I didn't find out I was even pregnant until a couple of months into the pregnancy.
The next day, I had my own internalized freak out. How was I going to juggle entertaining & nurturing Lilly in toddler hood while simultaneously nursing, changing, and feeding an infant? Not to mention sleeping (omg when will I sleep!). My biggest fear though, was how was I going to give enough love & devotion to 2 kids? With Lilly, everything was all about her. We slept when she did, played with her any time, sang, laughed, and all around watched her every movement in amazement as she grew, learned and blossomed. But there I was, freaking out about not only not being able to offer the same to the baby, but also no longer being able to give Lilly our undivided attention & love. My heart pounded. My mind raced a million miles a minute. I cried.

Now, a mere month away from having the baby, I know everything will be ok. Alright, I realized this a long time ago actually. Just as this pregnancy has been different, so will the experience of raising a 2nd child. We entered parenthood with Lilly without any trepidation. We just went with the flow and everything went swimmingly! So this time around i'm trying not to be overanalytical, though I'll sporadically get a thought of "how am I ever going to sleep" or "what kind of shenanigans will Lilly get into while i'm stuck in 1 spot nursing the baby" or "how in the hell am I going to get them on the same schedule to take naps?!".

Then I tell myself to shut up! Lilly is such a sweetheart &I know she's going to be a wonderful big sister & helper. I can't wait until she tries to read to the baby or make the baby laugh. Everything is going to be fine. And just like I tend to do with life in general, I need to just roll with the punches. Go with the flow. Enjoy the ride.

4 comments:

  1. She is going to be such a great big sister! She will be in total amazement of this baby, just as you were with her! :) If you need a nap, I'm here till June!

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  2. Nichole Zehendner11 December, 2012 09:20

    It's amazing what you can discover you can do when you have a toddler and an infant. You guys are amazing parents and all the pieces will fall into place. And... maybe you'll get lucky enough that Lilly will always want to lay with the baby and take a nap! :)

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just say it already