Dec 27, 2012

Be My Forever

7 years ago I nervously waited at the arrivals terminal in the Sevilla, Spain airport.  I had been talking to him on the phone and online for 5 months.  We were smitten. But real life can be a whole other realm from the virtual world. What if he was really a douche? What if he smelled funny? What if we just didn't get along once we were tangibly near one another? The anticipation was killing me, as I'd already done this the day prior, only for him to have missed his plane and get stuck overnight in Paris. Now I had an extra day to lament and overanalyze. Omg omg OMG please don't be a tool!

We embraced and the next week was a whirlwind of googly eyes, traveling, laughing, talking, and ... well, I'll spare the saucy details;) From that first day we knew we'd be together forever.

7 years have flown by. They haven't always been easy, but they've definitely been interesting, mostly fun and filled to the brim with new and exciting adventures. We've lived in Europe together, explored numerous countries in a short time, have gone through major career changes, both have blasted through different hairstyles and colors and body shapes, supported one another through school, changed vehicles, bought & sold houses (in our second one now), got a dog, had an amazing little girl and about to add to our growing family in a few short weeks with baby #2. We've laughed together, cried together, fought, talked, danced, ran, and loved. We've been through our fair share of ups and downs but couldn't have endured without one another.

Christmas morning, a day shy of our "official" anniversary, our little girl walked up to me holding a glass ring made by my artist and around the corner came Jeff and asked me to marry him. Of course I said yes! We've been married in our hearts, souls and daily lives for years but now we are going to make it official & legal. I love you Jeffaronie! You were my missing puzzle piece for so many years. My lobster <3 p="p"> 

Dec 9, 2012

Don't swim against the current

When we first found out I was pregnant with baby #2, Jeff had a momentary freak out. Or perhaps better described as shock. He was still sweet but just a little speechless for a while that day. In a bit of disbelief. Like he didn't know how babies were made or something;) We weren't trying to get pregnant per se, but we weren't trying NOT to either. It's just that it happened sooner than we anticipated. Pretty much after Lilly was weaned off the boob at 13 months. Only, I didn't find out I was even pregnant until a couple of months into the pregnancy.
The next day, I had my own internalized freak out. How was I going to juggle entertaining & nurturing Lilly in toddler hood while simultaneously nursing, changing, and feeding an infant? Not to mention sleeping (omg when will I sleep!). My biggest fear though, was how was I going to give enough love & devotion to 2 kids? With Lilly, everything was all about her. We slept when she did, played with her any time, sang, laughed, and all around watched her every movement in amazement as she grew, learned and blossomed. But there I was, freaking out about not only not being able to offer the same to the baby, but also no longer being able to give Lilly our undivided attention & love. My heart pounded. My mind raced a million miles a minute. I cried.

Now, a mere month away from having the baby, I know everything will be ok. Alright, I realized this a long time ago actually. Just as this pregnancy has been different, so will the experience of raising a 2nd child. We entered parenthood with Lilly without any trepidation. We just went with the flow and everything went swimmingly! So this time around i'm trying not to be overanalytical, though I'll sporadically get a thought of "how am I ever going to sleep" or "what kind of shenanigans will Lilly get into while i'm stuck in 1 spot nursing the baby" or "how in the hell am I going to get them on the same schedule to take naps?!".

Then I tell myself to shut up! Lilly is such a sweetheart &I know she's going to be a wonderful big sister & helper. I can't wait until she tries to read to the baby or make the baby laugh. Everything is going to be fine. And just like I tend to do with life in general, I need to just roll with the punches. Go with the flow. Enjoy the ride.