Oct 9, 2008


*WARNING*total grossness ahead. proceed with caution

For the past two years I've been suffering from some mysterious thing. The first time I noticed it was when I lived in Spain. I felt like I had something caught in my throat. I was constantly clearing my throat, gargling with water/mouthwash, excessively swallowing, ANYTHING to try and alleviate the annoying sensation that was occurring in the back of my throat. I also noticed a foul taste in my mouth. So I looked in the mirror and began to do a self-exam of my oral cavity.

Some background info--my tonsils are huge. Beyond huge! They are humongoid! I've had many dentists freak out about their size. "Wow! Those are some huge tonsils!". Yeah, I know! They ARE in my mouth! My huge tonsils cause me problems. When they are sore or inflammed it almost feels as though my throat may close off. Doctors refuse to remove them.

Back to the story. In my huge tonsils I noticed some white chunky things. I began to poke and prod around. A hard, slimy yellowish chunk of thing popped out of my tonsil. It left a gaping hole in my tonsil. I immediately began to freak. I've never done an extensive examination of my tonsils before. I learned later that the hole or crypt in the tonsils is normal. But it wasn't the hole I was freaking about, it was the foreign object that was worrying me. I swallowed and looked in my throat again. Damn! There was another one! So I pushed around on my tonsil, which made it start to bleed, until that little fucker popped out too. Then there was another, and another. I first thought maybe it was food. But it had the consistency of partially cooked rice. I knew I hadn't eaten anything like that in a few days so that couldn't be it. I decided to smell it. That's when I almost puked all over the floor. Holy shit those things stink! I asked the doctor about them the next time I went in and they gave me a perplexed look, had no clue what I was talking about and dismissed my question--so I never mentioned them again.

These things come and go. There will be months that go by without any sign. Then one day, like today, I'll wake up with a disgusting taste in my mouth and that annoying sensation in my throat, run to the bathroom and low & behold I'm infested again. So today I decided to do some research. Thank you internet and the endless amount of people with their infinite knowledge:)
The things are called Tonsilloliths and they look like this:

They are a bit mysterious. From what I gather they are the calcification of bacteria, dead cells, etc. and can be caused by overactive salivary glands, infection and can be the cause of hallitosis. I've always prided myself on having decent breath. But now with the influx of this shit I'm worried I have stank mouth! I've never had anyone cringe when I'm talking to them, but I notice a distint disgustingness in my mouth when I'm having a flare-up, so what if others are noticing it too?!?!?!

At least now I know what it is. But how do I stop it? There is no cure. I wish someone would just cut these fucking tonsils out of my head! They get in the way. They are a nuisance. And they prohibit me from *ahem* the art of deepthroat.

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